Week 2: Peace - Tuesday

At this early time of the morning I am content to sit in my kitchen and lose myself in stillness as I watch the sun awaken the land around with light. Here in this moment it's easy to be at peace. 

After a time in that stillness I became aware of a whisper arising from somewhere deep in my own wilderness. "Helloooo? Anybody home? There's some stuff in here that needs attention. There's some junk that you need to get rid of."

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know, I know. Next thing I'm hearing is that thing about peace beginning with me. Blah, blah, blah. Why do I want to gag when I hear that? I know it's true, but I don't really want to sort through the old crap. I mean 

Some of those old grudges remain  strangely savoury delicacies, as Frederick Buechner noted:

"To lick your wounds, to smack your lips over grievances long past, to roll over your tongue the prospect of bitter confrontations still to come, to savour to the last toothsome morsel both the pain you are given and the pain you are giving back--in many ways it is a feast fit for a king."

 The theologian also pointed out that, 

"...what you are wolfing down is yourself. The skeleton at the feast is you.”

So yes, this is a good time to do a little straightening out in my personal wilderness.  It's time to banish a bunch of those disappointments, the hurts, the failures - including the ones that I thought I had dispatched but somehow have crept back into my headspace!! The ones that long ago yielded all the lessons they had for me to learn. It's time to clear some space where I can wait in stillness, listen, and watch for the moments that scatter the darkness and breathe peace into my heart.

Shalom.

©2025 April Hoeller